carry on (open) Dec 18, 2013 20:22:41 GMT
Post by Deleted on Dec 18, 2013 20:22:41 GMT
What Lily really needed was to be alone. Ordinarily she had on a tough face, an I-can-do-anything kind of facade. She hid behind jokes and pulled pranks on other people to make them think she was still okay. She wasn't sure when her life stopped being okay, but her Uncle Ron's death hadn't helped matters. She couldn't even begin to imagine how her cousins were feeling. How was Rose and Hugo? It felt like it had been ages since she spoke to either of them, even though it had probably only been a few days at the most. She tried to avoid seeing them whenever possible. She knew it was a horrible thing to do but she didn't want to be around their grief while dealing with her own. The red-headed girl had been on a sort of downward spiral for a few years now and a death in the family was just pushing her over the edge. What had started as a small rebellion had turned into what some might call a personality disorder.
Lily Potter didn't know who she was. As she wandered through the corridors she wondered if she would have had this problem if she had not been born a Potter. None of the other kids seemed to have an issue with finding themselves. They all grew into it pretty naturally. But Lily didn't want to be known as the Potter girl. While she admired her father (and the rest of her family, for that matter) for what they had done for the wizarding world, she didn't want to have that legacy hanging over her head. It felt more like a cage than security. So she had thrown herself into bad choices and purposefully made mistakes. But now she had all but completely lost herself. This was no longer just a little rebellion and Lily wondered if this was the person she was really supposed to be.
Finally the Room of Requirement revealed itself and she walked into an empty room. A completely empty room. “Well, I suppose it took that whole wanting to be alone thing very literally,” she murmured to herself. She pulled her flask from her robes and took a sip of firewhiskey. She had snuck the drink into Hogwarts on the last Hogsmeade weekend and had been slowly drinking it, hoping she could score some more on the next weekend. With a sigh she walked over to a wall and leaned against it, loving how good it felt for eyes to not be on her right now.