all your reasons (laurel)

Laurel smiled as Damien claimed he didn’t want detention. Her smile then grew into a smirk as she placed a hand at her hip. ”Are you saying you wouldn’t want to spend detention with me? I’m hurt,” Laurel laughed placing a hand over her heart as if she had been wounded. She let her hand drop from her hip before shrugging her shoulders. ”It’s okay, I understand,” She teased a little more. Laurel noticed the smirk that appeared on Damien’s face after she mentioned him being her lucky charm. For some reason without fail the pink on her cheeks came back into the picture. Don’t look at him, if boys could be a veela he is definitely one, don’t look, just don’t look Laurel…and you’re looking at him, frailty thy name is woman! Laurel Flint you are pathetic! She nodded as he claimed that it was more in the transfiguration category. She had no idea what the list was truly full with. She just knew it was the typical things Curse Breakers used in a day. She wanted to be able to get this one right but at least going into it knowing this was harder made her feel a little bit more at ease. It shouldn’t be difficult to mess up.

She laughed before biting on her lip casually shrugging her shoulders. ”I…do enjoy studying, yes I did just admit it. Yes, you can hold it over my head, and yes…I find myself checking out extra books all the time now that surround or even touch on curse breaking, I guess—for once I have a goal in my life—one that I really want to accomplish,” Laur replied with a small smile. ”It feels…nice,” She stated. She nodded as she stared down to the blanket as he claimed he wanted to see what she did first. She took a deep breath before seeing his smile. She coughed once shaking her head turning back towards the blanket. That smile, he actually thought she could do it. That same smile, made her desperately want to succeed. She didn’t want to let him down if he was being that kind to her. She just wanted to prove to him that maybe—maybe she was worth more than just a minute of his time. She wanted desperately to feel like she deserved someone like Damien Nott to take a second glance at her. So now I have two goal—dating…Thad, you are dating Thad,” Laur shook her head before lifting her wand. Her eyes focusing on the blanket; ”Py air toh tuhm—loh oh moh to,” Laur pronounced carefully. It had taken her five times to get the pronunciation down. Her wand shakily pointed at the blanket.

Laur was holding her breath without realizing it just hoping that maybe it would semi work. She just wanted to impress Damien—even make him proud. Prove she wasn’t the selfish and insecure girl she truly was. She wanted to pretend that even if it was just for a little while they she could be anyone she pleased to be and this was the part of her she wanted to show. The blanket carefully lifted. The corners of it folded once then unfolded, her eyes trained specifically at the corners. Her hand still shaking as she attempted to concentrate on folding each corner; it wasn’t exactly ground breaking but it was at least an improvement from what she had previously done. Laur felt confident as the blanket walked towards them. The blanket then started rolling itself up and then unrolling itself tightly as if to be sold in a fashion shop in Diagon Alley. Laur grinned with that same amount of excitement that had previously occurred. Don’t mess it up, you’re doing it Laurel, you’re actually doing it,” Laur turned to look at Damien grinning. The moment her eyes averted from the blanket the blanket stopped rolling then throwing itself at the two. Laur jumped turning back to where the blanket was before colliding into her face. She wasn’t even frustrated as she started laughing, her wand still out as the blanket stuck to her hair. She turned under the blanket looking up to Damien. ”Well—it was a decent try?” Laur offered as she let another small laugh escape. She obviously hadn’t meant that, but as she was completely bound by the blanket next to Damien she couldn’t say the blanket wasn’t completely reading her mind. ”If I could just get my wand—“ Laur mumbled as she attempted to shuffle her wand hand free.

She could feel the blanket tighten against them as Laur’s head was now against Damien’s chest. She could feel her wand hand behind her back where the blanket had tightened against them. Her cheeks flushed bright pink as her hair remained brilliant blonde as she attempted to get her hand free. ”Uh Damien…I can’t get my wand,” Laur chuckled. Without her wand out they were completely stuck. ”Apparently I gave it the characteristics of a Boa Constrictor,” Laur tried to laugh a little more again but to be honest minus her arm wrapped behind her back she didn’t mind being this close to Damien. Laur looked up to Damien, smiling gently before trying to wiggle her arm free. ”Where’s your wand…maybe…maybe,” Laur started as she tried wriggling her left arm free which she was pretty sure was stuck in the wrap against Damien’s chest. Laur struggle against it for a moment as the blanket squeezed tighter; Laur laughed against his chest before looking up into his eyes once again. ”Sorry Damien,” She whispered now feeling a little embarrassed. His eyes, they are the perfect shade of—no you are far too close for these thoughts! What about Thad…what about Thad, Thad…Thad…who?”Laur couldn’t break the gaze now, he had her trapped. She swore he had put a spell on her; the sad part was she didn’t ever want to be released from it.

Why was he doing that? He kept continuing to make statements that made Laurel feel special and this wasn’t a feel good accomplished special. This was hinting. Could Damien possibly be struggling with the same situation just different notes? He couldn’t, she wasn’t worthy of him. She wasn’t worthy of his time, his patience, his intelligence. How could she even think this? He couldn’t, she shouldn’t, they wouldn’t. Laurel couldn’t focus though because he was smirking and staring directly at her completely clouding her thoughts. He was really good at that. He made everything that was usually normal seem completely insane. She wouldn’t mind a detention with him either. Her mind continued to race with thoughts that shouldn’t be anywhere near her mind. What was she going to do? She had to talk to Thad. She was going to have to finally stand up for herself. She had no idea why they were in the semi relationship but it was time to get rid of it. She would attempt to leave Damien’s name out of it but at the same time she didn’t want to lessen the fact that it was Damien. He was amazing and he deserved to know that. On the same note Laurel was not one to make everyone get up in arms about certain situations. She just hoped she could do so. Because it was clear Thad was the furthest thing from her mind lately.

Laurel didn’t know what to do as he claimed it was progress. Them being wrapped up by a blanket at her control wasn’t exactly the best kind of progress. She almost wished that she had just left it be. Things were difficult but she couldn’t truly say she minded the current position she was in. Laurel’s hair was quickly reacting to the present emotions she felt. Frustrated it turned bright red, realizing she was close to Damien it faded back to blonde. The process of hair shifting changed almost as quickly as how much they struggled to figure out how to get out of this one. Laur shook her head quickly when asked if it her wand had been dropped. ”No, it’s in my other hand twisted in a strange place behind my back, trust me it’s not very comfortable,” Laur chuckled as she wriggled her arm some more becoming very aware of his arm wrapped around her waist. She had wanted to be close to Damien but not trapped. It was like a Monkey’s paw wish back firing. She nodded as he claimed his wand was at his side. ”This—hand is the closest to escaping,” Laur mumbled squeezing her hand towards the opening her arm just barely escaping the blanket that squeezed harder in protest of Laurel barely getting one hand free. ”One down, and less breathing room to thank for it,” Laurel laughed before shaking her head realizing she had gotten them into this huge mess.

It wasn’t her fault? Of course it was. It was her charm, it was her studying habits, she interrupted his peaceful night. She was having a really hard time finding what wasn’t her fault about the entire situation. Not to mention he had whispered and it sounded like he meant it. One day someone will whisper  to you like this Laurel, and none of it will contain an ounce of selfish motive. Someone simply trying to be truthful, She wanted it so badly. She wanted to be good enough, his whisper. His breath present against her skin. He meant it, that was the best thing about Damien was that he was always genuine. It made her constantly wonder if in the future she could ever deserve a person such as he. Laurel inhaled sharply the moment she felt Damien’s lips touch her skin. Did he—did he just…is it possible Laurel? Maybe you’re screw ups haven’t sent him running away, just maybe he feels like you do, it’s not crazy it might just be possible!” Laur heard the instant sorry but she was still trying to catch her breath. She almost needed to take a step back but realized that was fairly impossible considering she was tied to Damien by the ridiculous blanket.

Laurel blinked a few times as he claimed that he was sorry and then claimed a wand would help. He had kissed her and for a split moment Laurel didn’t care about the predicament they were in. She could care less about anything in the world beside that kiss on the forehead. Maybe the tension wasn’t just one side. Maybe Damien was just foolish enough to think Laurel was worthy. Just maybe. Her mind was racing and just as Damien finished his sentence she used her free hand to hold his chin, barely letting him finish his sentence before tilting her head to the side and pressing her lips against his. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING? Laurel for a split moment had forgotten she had Thad, that Dahlia was one of her best friends. She forgot that Damien was used to being a big brother and often had to comfort someone. Her hair immediately shot to a bleach blonde as she then felt rather stupid, for maybe taking his sign in a different way. She was so incredibly stupid and she was bound to him so she couldn’t even run away to cry. She released his lips and sunk back to her flat feet, thus realizing what she had just done. Her pinks flushing a dark crimson this time. ”Damien…I’m so sorry, I can, I can explain, I—I don’t,” Laurel was stuttering like the Hufflepuff Quidditch Star and she was extremely embarrassed. What was she going to tell Thad? Oh Thad, nice to see you again. So I think we need to break up because I might have accidentally kissed someone and—enjoyed it. I’m not usually a cheater so it would be nice if we could part ways, besides you can stop staring at Jas and make a move. You want his name—yeah that probably isn’t a good idea if it counts, I kissed him? Nott? No--no of course not. Please don't hurt him, What was she going to do, she wanted to kiss him again, she didn’t even care that they were in this extremely awkward situation physically and well socially. She just wanted his skin on her lips. She attempted to wriggle her hand with the wand in it.

For some reason dating Thad had always been a mistake in her mind recently but she didn’t realize how much of an idiotic choice it was until it crossed Damien’s lips. The words were like venom seizing through her veins taking over every nerve one by one. Her mouth fell open as he claimed it wasn’t a good idea. But he had kissed her forehead first! He started it and naturally Laurel finished it. She couldn’t stand the tease of that kiss on her forehead it was Damien she had to kiss him. She glared towards the ground trying not to feel a little betrayed. She wasn’t quite sure by what. Her own feelings for Damien. Maybe he hadn’t meant the kiss on the forehea-he did though! Why would he claim it wasn’t okay! Laurel didn’t know what to do. She didn’t want to be Thad’s girl anymore. Or at least one of the girls anymore; She didn’t want any of that. If she could trade it in it would have already been done. She listened as he explained he just wanted to get the blankets off. Laurel quickly looked away from him trying not to meet his gaze as he fixed the blankets. Like always he was able to do it correctly as she felt them unwind. Her heart started pounding again as she could still feel his hand on her back. She just wanted it to stay like that, what was the crime?

That’s when he spoke and she realized she wasn’t the only one hurting. Maybe her first thoughts were right? Maybe he…but was that even possible? Was she just being a ridiculous little school girl hoping that the boy of her dreams actually wanted her back too? Only problem was that Thad was in the way. It was probably why Damien kept bringing him up. GAH! Why did she ever even think dating Thad was a good idea. She let her shoulders slump as she couldn’t take hearing Damien sad. It was going to all come out. It was going to come out like word vomit and there was nothing or no one to stop her now. Was she ready? She was going to have to answer to Dahl as well. She didn’t want to hurt her friend but with Damien’s voice and facial expression she knew he was hurting just as much as she was and this was the final straw. It was coming…she hoped he was ready for it because he had opened a can of worms that couldn’t be suppressed. ”What was it? What was it…let me think…” Laur pretended for a moment before the assurance in her voice was completely gone. ”Let me explain then since you can’t figure it out…you know very well that there are two sides. Theirs the real me and the façade that I put up in order to keep people happy, right? Well…to put it simply…” Laurel stared down to hands, wringing her fingers in one hands as she took a deep breath she looked back up to Damien. ”I think…the real me has wanted to do that for quite…some time…now,” Laur bit down on her bottom lip turning away from him scared of the consequence of telling him everything.

”I think it was the very first time you caught me reading. You weren’t like everyone else who attempted to take the book away, laugh, poke fun that I was actually reading. It was almost like you expected it. I think…I think Damien Nott, that’s when you won, without even realizing it. But you always had your others, I had mine, and it just seemed impossible so I hid…because that’s what I’m good at,” Laur mumbled a little ashamed of what she was revealing. ”Who am I to make your life miserable too…more than what you already have to go through, and with Dahl and then there was Thad. I know you guys love to hate each other but he was my friend and a decent one too! I just wish I would have kept it at a friend level,” Laur whispered the last comment almost hoping Damien didn’t hear her. She inhaled taking a deep shaky breath before staring down to her feet. ”I’m trapped and I have no one to blame but myself. The façade is loyal to Thad because he was everything the old me wanted, and the friendship but I know he isn’t loyal to me. Merlin only knows who, what, where, and why. I’m not stupid…and I see the way he looks—“ Laur paused maybe not wanting to burry Thad. He was still her friend after all and she cared about him. ”Let’s just say I know he doesn’t love me either,” Laur could feel the tears starting to greet the corner of her eyes and she wasn’t about to let them fall. ”So welcome to my mind it’s dark and chaotic, and currently very confused…right now, I don’t want to be either of me, I mean both ways I hurt a lot of people I care about,” Laur felt one tear slip as she wrapped her arms around her waist staring back towards the sky. ”I hate myself for so many different things,” Laur whispered as she felt another tear fall. It was a lose-lose situation. She left out the part about Thad probably not letting her go either. She just wanted to crawl in a hole, not to mention she had spilled everything, everything to him. ”Feel free to…run away at any point, that was a lot of—“ Laur felt another tear slip as she quickly uncrossed her arms wiping it away. information…”

Laurel held her breath as she heard his footsteps. That was it. He was just going to leave. She had ruined everything. She felt a couple more tears fall. How would she explain this to Dahl? He was Damien so he probably wouldn’t make a scene but he knew everything now. He knew parts of her that she didn’t even want to admit to herself and yet…for a moment time stopped. Silence fell over the tower when she felt his thumb wipe away the tears. He hadn’t left. She held her breath trying not to let the sigh of relief escape that wanted too. Laurel couldn’t completely agree. Once again she had that strange loyalty to Thad and for some reason she couldn’t shake it. Even when she attempted to break it off and he seemed to steer her elsewhere. Why? She had no idea. She was almost scared that she was part of some secret plot that was being stirred up. The last thing she wanted was to get too involved. Technically, she was already involved. She couldn’t help but nod as Damien revealed Thad’s obsession with Jas. Jas and Laurel had been friends before the cold shoulder started. Everything would have just been perfect if she would have just turned down Thad’s request. She felt slightly bad for listening to what Damien was saying about Thad. He meant…well? Did he though? Did Laurel truly think he meant well? Things with his father had gotten so bad lately but they all had it rough? His father was a little more aggressive. She had no idea what to feel about Thad.

Laurel continued to stare at the floor before Damien said once more that she was dating Thad and he didn’t like it. Once again the words dripped like venom. She was pretty sure the words were far more foul the second time around. She hated hearing him say such things. She would have loved to disappear. Was that possible? She would do it in a seconds notice. She met his gaze right before his smile. His smile. Laurel wasn’t sure what it was about his smile but even through the tear stained eyes and solid frown on her face it cracked for just a moment. She felt the corners of her lips raise as smiled softly back quickly wiping at the other eye. ”We’ve got quite the mess on our hands…” Laur whispered staring quickly back down to the ground which seemed to prove safer to look at then his face. That’s when he did it though. He admitted it. Laur froze, her hair quickly brightening to the fiery red she often wore. I've never felt for anyone the way I've started feeling for you. she shouldn’t have been so happy. But it was true. All of it, she hadn’t misread him. He was dealing with it too. But then he brought up Thad and being unfaithful. But Thad was never going to let her leave. Not to mention he was never faithful. That didn’t mean she wanted her character to suffer because of it but what was she meant to do? But I’m not leaving Merlin, he made her want him so bad. He was the desirable bad/good guy! Was it even possible? He appeared a bad guy but in all reality he was a decent guy who knew her better than anyone else. She was starting to challenge even better then Dahl or Sage.

She watched as he crossed his arms almost confirming his statement. She could feel the tears threatening to fall again. ”He’s not—“ Laurel started again. If they hadn’t had the super awkward conversation she probably would have just asked for a hug and shrug everything off. But things were different now. She could care less if she was made unfaithful to Thad but she would never want to taint Damien’s name. She settled for mimicking him and crossing her own arms. ”I don’t know how to fix this…because I really don’t—I mean now that I kno—“ Laur stumbled her hair turning blonde as her words stumbled to form a sentence. She was turning into this little awkward school girl. They liked each other, they both knew, and yet they couldn’t do anything about it. ”I mean I’ve brought it up before—to him that it doesn’t make sense. But…he just…he just changes the subject. But I mean like you said if he’s still obsessed with Jas then why does he even care?” Laur wanted to answer her own question but she was too scared of her own answer. Laurel hadn’t really ever revealed to Damien that she had attempted to end the relationship with Thad before and she wondered if that would make things worse.

Laurel just wanted to take the time they had right now and use it. It was rare that they were both alone. She knew a kiss probably wouldn’t happen a second time but just the empty place on her back where his hand used to lay was already missing the warmth of his hand. She bit down on her lower lip wishing that maybe if she closed her eyes tight enough that when she opened them everything would fix itself. ”I’m at a dead end, Damien…I mean the old me is dead but not gone,” Her eyes watched mirrored his. Wishing she had all the answers when in reality she didn’t have any idea what to do. ”I just—I just don’t want to constantly hide anymore, I want this!” Laurel replied pointing at the crazy blanket and the broken desk. ”I want this! At least this means I’m living, I want to be free to be me whenever I want to be. For someone to not care if I can’t get it right on the first try and not give up on me even on the second try, I want someone to believe in me for once in my life!” Laurel mumbled. ”And you have always done that,” Laur whispered this time looking up from her hands to meet his gaze. ”It’s always been you…” Laur stated a little more matter of fact. Only she just didn’t know how to fix any of it and she was extremely frustrated with the idea. Most girls could call their mothers or best friends. In these cases none of those options would help her now.

Laurel knew she had done it the moment he repeated her phrase. She watched as Damien’s inner thoughts obviously took control. She was going to have a really hard time keeping Thad from losing his temper but she wasn’t quite sure what Damien was capable of either. She watched as he reacted and she almost felt bad for saying something. She didn’t love Thad it was as simple as that. The fact that he wasn’t faithful and she was—was the breaking point. Even the façade Laurel Flint wouldn’t have stood for that. Since she was faithful she at least wanted that in return. He had said he was going to be faithful but that was out the window probably the second night they started dating. And she had lost Jas completely over the whole ordeal. She sighed nodding her head. ”He…just…I don’t know, I really don’t know. He thinks differently than us,” Laurel finally came to the conclusion. It was all she had so she truly hoped that Damien could understand she was grasping at nothing in order to try and defend him a little bit. She had no idea why he wanted her to stay if he wasn’t content either except for the fact that she wasn’t happy with him. Could he possibly be that insecure or troubled that he needed her to make him feel okay? Was it even her or was it the fact that someone else could make her happy and he couldn’t? She was giving herself a headache trying to think like Thad. She could only imagine what the inside of his mind looked like.

Laurel was surprised when she felt Damien’s arms wrap around her. A sigh of relief echoed from her lips as she leaned her head against his chest. Far more comfortably then when they were inside of the blanket. Laurel let her arms wrap around his lower waist intertwisting her fingers behind his back. What did they do now? She had no idea. The moment Thad got a temper or acted like her father for some reason it completely shut down Laurel. She wasn’t sure why the only hunch she had was that it was because of the verbal abuse they dealt with constantly. Her mother hardly even talked at all these days. Simply nodded or scolded. That was the extent of her mother’s. She could feel Damien’s heart pounding and his chest gently rise and fall. It was almost soothing. ”No I don’t want any of that anymore. But you’re right, I suppose if I just state it and then…make a quick get away then things would be okay,” Laurel nodded, he could continue to call her his girlfriend but that wasn’t the part particularly that she was worried about. She was far more worried about the telling him. The moment he got mad she might shut down and she didn’t want that to happen. Even worse if he got really mad. Laurel knew Thad had quite the temper. She wasn’t quite sure if he would ever attempt to hurt her but she didn’t exactly want to find out.

”I’ll admit I’m kind of nervous…about telling him,” Thad was used to being in control so if she took it away from him she had no idea what the outcome would be. She held her breath for a moment trying to push some scary thoughts from her mind. That was just thinking too negative. Maybe if she thought a bit more positive the outcome would be better. She forced a small nod against his chest. ”I just hope it doesn’t get worse,” Laur mumbled before realizing Thad would probably find out who Laurel left him for. She couldn’t let Damien get hurt. She wasn’t sure if Thad had that in him and with their fathers it would be a stupid move on Thad’s part but would he chance it if he was angry in the moment? She bit down on her lip before closing her eyes. ”What if he finds out, Damien? What if he comes after you—what if he hurts you,” Laurel whispered the second half. ”I would never be able to forgive myself, Dahl would never forgive me,” Laurel kept scanning through several scenarios of Thad finding out it was Damien that had Laurel leaving him flat. She closed her eyes tight, giving his waist a little squeeze almost scared that he would disappear. ”I can’t let you get hurt…” Laurel whispered the previous tears threatening to reappear again.

Laurel quickly shook her head the moment Damien offered to go with. She was pretty sure someone would end up in the Hospital Wing and she wasn’t sure if she could stand to see it happen. ”No, it’s about time I stand up for myself anyways. I mean, what’s the worst that could happen?” Laur asked then realized that was a pretty bad thing to ask. She bit down on her lip staring at the sideview of Damien’s chest. ”Okay don’t answer that, don’t even think about it. But I’m sure nothing will happen, I just know it’d be worse if you came…” Laur sighed she was going to have to work up a lot of courage to do what she needed to. She just hoped if it came down to it she could tell him it was over and just leave. She wasn’t sure if he would take this well but hopefully with Jas and how he stared maybe it was just time. She was really hoping that was the answer because she couldn’t quite handle fighting with Thad. He reminded her too much of her father. She seemed to clam up the moment her father started yelling and it couldn’t happen this time. Laurel didn’t think they could hide a relationship but at the same time she wished they could. She didn’t want anyone getting hurt or the whole situation escalating. She just wanted to disappear and have everything magically fix itself. ”No…I mean, I wish we could hide but that just wouldn’t work. I just wish things would fix itself,” Laur whispered finally admitting it.

Laurel groaned as he claimed the worse they could do was land the other in the Hospital Wing. That wasn’t exactly something she wanted to see something happen. ”Yeah, and that’s terrible enough! Not to mention what would your fathers say! Ugh, Damien I just don’t want anyone hurt and I just want the drama to fade away,” Laur sighed quietly. ”Yeah…in a perfect world that would happen,” She mused quietly. She just didn’t want anyone hurt. She leaned away from his chest before looking around before looking back towards the door. ”I’ll talk to him tomorrow after classes. I’ll get this mess figured out. But I’m guessing we should probably start heading back before we’re caught with one of our many messes,” Laur smiled softly before turning and carefully picking up the cursed blanket before walking back to Damien as handed it to him. ”Want to just meet me after classes tomorrow? It’ll probably take a while with Thad but…we could meet back here two hours after classes are over? That should be enough time for the yell fest to die down,” Laur replied with a small smile. She was hiding just exactly how scared she was but maybe for Damien, for once she would muster up all the confidence she had and just do it.


ooc: sounds good to me!